The Meaning of It All
by ANN ULRICH MILLER
© 2015 (all rights reserved)
An article from the October 2015 issue of THE STAR BEACON.
Back
to Colorado
By the time you’re reading this, Star Beacon and company will be on
the road back to Colorado.
That's right, we
are returning home.
After 17 months in Washington state, we are reclaiming the snow and cold, the
sunshine and blue skies, the magpies and mule deer, and those snow-capped Rocky
mountains that call to us.
Moving to Forks, Wash., was not a mistake. Actually, we enjoyed our time there.
We tried to find our niche in the rainforest, but obviously, it wasn't meant to
be. I must admit, it was an experience living 12 miles from the rugged Pacific
coast and having green grass on our lawn year round. There's no argument that
this portion of the Pacific Northwest is lush and alluring. The whole area is
incredibly beautiful.
If I did not bond with the area, I have no one to blame but myself. Since moving
to Forks, I did not feel like getting out and making myself a part of the
community. Instead, I buried myself in work.
Introspection can be a good thing. I'm amazed that in a year's time Earth Star
has produced six titles -- that's a record, by the way, for my little publishing
company. We also began the Wisp newsletter, as if I didn't have enough things to
do, in addition to looking for homes or land to buy.
Some things are just not meant to be. But that doesn't mean the experience was a
disaster. Perspective can be a fantastic learning tool. We are ready to go back
to the state we love. I know of some old friends who moved away who have also
decided to return to Colorado.
What does all this mean? Well, either I've got gypsy blood and just cannot
settle down … or I had to have confirmation that Spirit wants me back in
Colorado. I'm not sure yet why, but at this point I don't need a reason. Besides
all of the friends I miss, we have family there, and I know a 7-year-old who is
tickled that his Grandma Ann is coming home.
Speaking of family, in August, I flew home to Wisconsin to attend my high school
class reunion (45th) and a family gathering. Since Stepping Forth, my high
school memoir, came out last spring, this was an opportune time to promote the
book. I am happy to say that I sold all of the copies I had brought with me, and
then some.
Hound from Hell?
While in Wisconsin, I had a few lessons in store. First, I was a nervous
wreck, worrying about going to the reunion and meeting people from my past.
I was not used to socializing. Actually, after I'd made the reservations for the
trip, I wanted to back out, but my airfare was nonrefundable.
My sister let me have the
use of her "doggy limo" (a Dodge SUV) and I drove it from Janesville up to
Madison on the busy interstate. Friday, I arrived a little early -- in the
middle of a rainstorm -- parked, and called a friend, who was excited to hear
from me.
She suggested I spend the
night at her house so that I wouldn't have to drive back to Janesville that
night. I agreed to go to her house on Madison's east side after the party at
Tully's on Monona Drive.
It was great to meet my best
friend, Kathy from Green Bay, at the reunion, and to mingle with many other
classmates. I actually stayed longer than I'd intended and visited with a lot of
people. I felt empowered.
Next, I drove over to see
Marcia (not her real name). It was drizzling when I pulled the doggy limo
up in front of her house. Right away, she saw me and waved to me from her
driveway. I could hear a dog barking and realized it was Marcia's new puppy, "LeRoy."
The puppy, unfortunately,
would not stop barking at me. Marcia had a terrible time getting him under
control as we fought our way to the back door and into Marcia's crowded house.
Her roommate was asleep downstairs in her basement, and LeRoy continued to bark
at me, his eyes glazed with rage, his jaws snapping at me. Marcia tried to
restrain him and laughed it off, telling me he was "not yet socialized." This
puppy, a beagle/border collie mix, was 8 months old and she could not
control him.
She explained how she had
gotten the dog from a friend who couldn’t keep him. He was cute, maybe
... if he hadn't been so vicious! I was appalled that my friend did not have the
ability to make her puppy behave and that he just continued to snap and bark at
me after I tried to make friends. She had to hold onto him or he'd charge at me.
It hurt my feelings because I love animals and I had never had an animal
react to me in such a way.
I wanted to stay up and chat
because I was still wired from the social event earlier, but Marcia insisted it
was time for bed. She showed me into the spare bedroom, which was as crowded as
the rest of the rooms in her home, then closed my door after bidding me
goodnight.
I wasn't comfortable. The
place was not too inviting and it felt creepy in that room. I decided to keep
all my clothes on as I lay on the bed. I wrote in my journal and tried to read,
but my mind was spinning ... and then I remembered I hadn’t brushed my teeth or
removed my makeup for the night.
But ... when I opened the
bedroom door to step into the bathroom -- which was right next door -- Marcia's
dog howled, lunged at me, and began attacking me. I could see this wasn't going
to be easy. Peering out the crack, I could see Marcia in the next bedroom,
already asleep and unresponsive to her puppy's disruptive barking. I assumed she
had been drinking and had passed out, which might explain why she wanted me to
go to bed instead of staying up to chat.
After I finally managed to
slip into the bathroom -- the puppy unrelenting with his vicious barking -- I
went back to my room and suddenly burst into tears. I felt humiliated and
trapped. I could sense untoward spirits in Marcia's house. There was no
way I could get any sleep... and now I was tired.
I knew that it was probably
rude, but still sobbing, I collected my things and then gathered up the nerve to
flee the house. LeRoy howled and barked when I opened the door. I had to swing
my backpack in front of me as I fought him off on my way through Marcia's house
to the door. I had only one thought ... to get out of there before that wild
animal bit a chunk out of me.
It was drizzling as I
succeeded at slipping out the door without letting the puppy out. He continued
to bark from inside, and I wondered how her roommate put up with that.
When I got safely inside the
doggy limo, I immediately emailed Marcia that I had left, saying that I couldn’t
sleep and was stressed out. Then I texted my sister in Janesville and told her I
was returning to her house. Laurie texted back, telling me to drive safely. (She
probably thought I had been drinking, which I hadn't.)
It took about 40 minutes to
get to Janesville, but then I couldn't remember which exit I was supposed to
take. Soon I was disoriented and could not find the right road to get to
Laurie's house. I think I drove around for the next 30 minutes, trying to get my
bearings, and then pulled over and decided to initiate the GPS app on my
smartphone. (I hadn't used it yet.) Once it gave me a fix, it guided me to my
destination and I climbed into my bed in Laurie’s guest room ... at 3 AM!
So what was the meaning of
all this? Why did Marcia's dog hate me? I've always been an animal lover
and never had come across anything like this before. Well, after giving it some
thought, the only thing I could think of was that there were spirits in Marcia's
house that did not want me there, and the dog may have been possessed, to the
point where it saw my Light and reacted accordingly.
I almost didn't go back to
Madison on Saturday night for the reunion party at the Bourbon Street Lounge.
But I did. Again, it was a test of empowerment for me. And even without my best
friend Kathy there that evening, I had the time of my life mingling with so many
people. I was truly glad I had gone... and had not chickened out because of the
puppy incident or my misgivings about socializing in general.
So now we are going to live
in Colorado again, and I vow that I won't be the recluse I've been for the past
year and a half. Spreading the Light is what we lightworkers do, and perhaps
I've kept mine to myself too long, which could be why the puppy reacted in that
way. By the way, to this day I am sure my friend Marcia still has no clue what
really happened ... and I'm not about to tell her.
My newest book!
This month, Earth Star is
publishing the fifth young adult mystery in the Annette Vetter Adventure series,
In the Shadow of the Tower. The story takes place in Ravensville,
Wisconsin ... and a very special Christmas is in store for Annette.
Pre-orders are being taken
now! Send $9.95 plus $3.00 for shipping ($12.95 total) to Earth Star, 515
Hickory Ridge, Bayfield CO 81122. This book has been the most fun for me so
far.
Ann Ulrich Miller’s memoir,
Stepping Forth, An American Girl Coming of Age in the ’60s, delves into her adolescent years ('60s and
'70s) in Monona, Wisconsin, when she was a "teen with an attitude" learning about the Meaning of It All. You can order the book from Amazon or send $19.00 postpaid for an autographed copy: Earth Star,
515 Hickory Ridge, Bayfield CO 81122.
AnnUlrichMiller.com
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