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The Meaning of It All


from the March 2005 Star Beacon

by Ann Ulrich Miller

A Reclusive Winter

     Looks like another winter is almost behind us. The Spring Equinox is just weeks away, and soon it will be time to turn our attention once again to the outdoors, to growing things and nurturing them, and thrilling in the newness of life.

     I feel like Iíve been a recluse. If it werenít for my day job at the newspaper downtown, I would be content to remain, unseen, in my house and not socialize with anyone for days, perhaps weeks. Life certainly keeps me busy enough to just want to stay home and catch up... which never seems to happen.

     Thank goodness the need to earn a living forces me to sit behind a desk in an office full of people five days a week, where I have contact with the outside world via the telephone. Gone seem to be the days when I put together meetings, conferences and UFO support groups. Iíve been content to step aside and let others take over that role. Iíve had much work to do within my own Self these last few years.

     Occasionally it crosses my mind, why do people go out of our lives? I look back at all the many friendships and associations I once had, and I look around myself now and wonder, where did they go?

     We used to have a thriving core group of lightworkers in my valley. Several of us would gather at regular intervals, sometimes for a weekly meditation at somebodyís house, other times for a special event. We were like family. Slowly the friends dissipated, going their separate ways, some of them leaving this dimension. Now I can count on one hand the lightworker friends that remain in close proximity.

     Why do people come... and go? What happens to them... or is it us? Am I the reason why the people I used to know so well and associate with donít seem to want to come around anymore? Is it the fact that they are all just way too busy in their own lives?

     I often get the reaction, ďOh, I know you are so busy... I didnít want to bother you.Ē And I get to thinking, okay... perhaps I let this person know in a subtle way that I preferred to be alone at one time. And now they believe I want nothing to do with them. The assumption they made is not necessarily true.

     I have some friends I once hung around with who started making excuses, and finally I made the assumption that they didnít want to remain friends. And so I stopped contacting them.

     For whatever reason, perhaps my vibration changed, or theirs. People come into our lives and, more often than not, they leave. Their interests, their views change over the years. But I fondly recall all the good times we used to have, all the sharing and caring... and sometimes I miss it. But not really.

     It seems as I get older, I become more reclusive, and find that I am really my own best friend. I am happy when I am alone. I enjoy doing things that you do when you are alone, such as reading, writing, playing music, being artistic and creative. Yet I would be lost without Relationship.

     Relationship is important even when you like being alone. I am one of the fortunate few who has found her soul mate, and we have been together for 15 years now. He is my very best friend.

     I have good relationships with my three sons, who faithfully phone their mother at least once a week, and I have relationships with the animals I help care for, and the plants, and the home that houses and protects me. My relationship with the Creator is constant and unchanged. I am grateful for all that God has blessed me with, and so it really does not matter if people I once knew and loved have moved on. I still think of them... I smile... and I cherish their memories.

     Now Spring is coming, and perhaps it will be time to plant seeds and nurture new friendships and relationships with others. My reclusive nature will duck aside once more as the Universe calls me into the service for which I came to this planet at this time.

     Everything has its time and its purpose.

     Ann Ulrich Miller is publisher of The Star Beacon and author of the recently published novel, The Light Being, available from Earth Star Publications, P.O. Box 117, Paonia, CO 81428 ($17.95 postpaid). See www.earthstarpublications.com/LightBeing.html.
 


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