Since last Jauary l999, my immune system has been down. Since then, I
contacted two different
strains of pneumonia four times. I've also had a lot of bronchitis and sinus
problems. Each time I
got the pneumonia, I got the same symptoms and had to be hospitalized. I
knew each time I had
it. In September is when I had the BIG ONE! But, this time it was not
pneumonia. I've been
falling asleep a lot lately, like narcolepsy. They did a test and I do have
this. Well, it's really
bothersome when I get up during the night to pay a visit to nature. I fall
asleep before I get
back to bed. It's also very hard for me to sleep all night. Anyway, I was
washing my hands after
the trip to the john and fell asleep. I woke up hitting my head on the door
and landed, sitting
down on ceramic tiles, knees hitting first. My left ankle went underneath me
and twisted. I could
hardly get up and Mark didn't wake up when I called him. So, I sat there in
terrible pain until I
was able to get up by myself. The next day the ankle was very sore, but
not black and blue, so I didn't go to the doctor (wrong choice).
A few days later, I started getting my bronchitis symptoms back and stayed
in bed that day and
night. My calf started hurting me terribly, so I wrapped it up in an Ace
bandage. This night I got
worse with my breathing, I began to get a terrible sharp pain under my right
breast. I could hardly
take in a deep breath. The next day was the day Hurricane Floyd came through
and it caused
torrential rain here. Mark went to work, anyway. Around 3:00 pm, I called
him to come home. I
was having a terrible chest pain and now a temperature.
I got to the hospital about 5:00 pm. My temperature was high and my oxygen
level was so low
that my skin was now gray and my lips were blue. They put me into the trauma
room and began
the battery of tests. The first test was a regular chest x-ray. The doctor
came in and told us the
scary news - I had a lung embolism, a huge blood clot in my right lung. They
didn't expect me
to live the night. The blood clot was approximately 5 inches long; they had
never seen any that big
there, and one doctor had only seen one that big in his medical lifetime. An
ultrasound of my left
leg showed four more clots in the calf waiting to move up the artery. God, I
was scared. But,
thank God I wrapped it up in the Ace bandage; that kept them from moving up.
This was not all;
the right lung had collapsed because of the clot, I had pneumonia, pleurisy
(water in the lung) and
some congestive heart failure.
Now for the first miracle, for there are miracles here. The clot had already
gone through my heart
and was now embedded in a vein in the right lung. It could move. They still
don't know how that
5-inch blood clot moved through my lung without stopping or getting hung up
in the chambers. If
this had happened, it would have been a massive heart attack or stroke. The
blood had pumped it
out of the heart.
Now, they had to get me ready for surgery to put in a Greenfield filter (not
sure about the
spelling). This filter goes into the groin and then is put into the main
artery, where it
branches off. The problem with this was that it has hinges on it, little
teeth to grab onto the artery.
They had to call the man who invented this filter in Europe to see what
could happen regarding
making another clot there. Well, I went into surgery and only got a local at
the groin site because
my oxygen level was so low. I was turned up all the way. I did feel a lot of
pressure, but not real
pain. It only took l0 minutes to get it in. They put me in a room and
watched me close during the
night. Very early in the morning my blood pressure dropped to 60/40. I went
into Intensive Care
immediately with bells going off on all the machines. This started my
journey. I was in Intensive
Care for l0 days. I stayed in the hospital for six weeks.
They were having a terrible time trying to break up the clot; the medicine
wasn't working and my
heart was getting weaker. The nurse told me that the doctors were going to
put me to sleep and
put me on a respirator because I was going into congestive heart failure. I
told her NO. The
doctor came in and told me they were going to have to use a new drug that
they give to stroke
victims to keep them from getting another stroke and also heart attack
victims. But, this medicine
had a lot of risks to it, one was bleeding in the brain or kidney. At this
point I had no choice. They
called Pakistan to see how much to give me. This medicine cost $5,000 a day.
I only have
Medicare, so you can understand how much it cost us. The low oxygen, etc.,
gave me
hallucinations.
I also don't remember hardly anything at all those first l0 days. Mark was
there every day to feed
me and do other things to help me. I did remember a few things. One was that
I had a dream (one
of those). I was high on a rock butte overlooking what looked like the
Painted Desert, beautiful
colors but no one and nothing around. I was wearing a rust-colored fringe
jacket, the sun was
shining and my cat, Apache, was with me. I heard a voice overhead that said,
"Now find your
way home."
Within a few days I began to cough up blood, not a good sign. They had to up
the medicine again.
Then, each day a man would come with gray hair and peek in. He would ask me
how I was doing
that day. After this was all over, I asked about him; there was no one. I
was the only one in
Intensive Care for those l0 days and no one was allowed in except nursing
staff and family. One
day I asked to be taken out of bed and be put into a chair. I was so weak, I
couldn't even pick up
a straw. That day it was raining and cold. That day I told Mark I was
leaving. I felt only to just let
go, one last breath, I was so tired. My daughter isn't speaking to me, not
in five years. I haven't
seen my grandchildren now since September. I sat there, looking out into the
rain and as I felt so
weak, I began to tie things up, forgive those who hurt me and me them. To my
sister, Claudia,
hopefully she got the message that I loved her, even though I still didn't
know what happened
between us. I would miss her. I was thankful for all I did have, a wonderful
husband from the
angel realm to love and take care of me through all my back surgeries, etc.
Something kicked in
then; I can't explain it.
Mark came that night, and took my hands in his and was crying a little. He
told me he had
something to tell me that he had waited for the right time. Apache was
missing. I was so torn
apart. My God, my Apache. She was with me in the dream when we were on the
mountain. He
told me she had disappeared two days after this happened. He had gone
everywhere looking for
her. She never ran away, she always stayed close to home. All the neighbors
knew her. We got
her from the shelter. She has a big black arrowhead on her nose that's why
they named her that.
She already had a Native name. She was also calico. I felt she wasn't dead,
just missing. We have
a very strong bond together. She sleeps with me every night, putting her
head on my pillow away
from me. She watches the door; if she hears anything, her head goes up and
looks. I put my arm
around her body and the purring puts me right to sleep. Sometimes she turns
her head around and
kisses me on the forehead or my nose. She likes to put her whole head into
my hand and wraps
her paw around my wrist. I guess she did this with her mother. What would I
do without her?
Mark went out looking for her each night after he came home from the
hospital.
The medicine finally began to work and I began to get a little better, very
slowly The doctors are
truly calling this a miracle. This is not all.
The blood clot had damaged my right lung badly, so I needed to be on oxygen
24 hours a day for
the rest of my life. Oh gosh, how awful. All the things I couldn't do
anymore. I was hooked up to
a 45-ft. hose in the house because I had to sleep with it, too. There are
oxygen machines
everywhere and canisters to take in the car. The large condenser was on the
main floor and the
bedroom on the second floor. I had to get a hospital bed in to use during
the day. I couldn't climb
the stairs more than once a day. I was on blood thinners now and had to have
a nurse come in
twice a week and take blood.
The second day I was home, I got a phone call from a Realtor who had an
office two houses
away. He asked if Apache was still missing. He used to see her a lot over
there. She is a hunter of
moles, mice, grasshoppers, even butterflies. Never did she hurt a butterfly
or a grasshopper. She
used to bring them into the house. He's only there twice a week. We were
having warm weather
in October, so he opened the back cellar doors. These open from outside in.
That morning he saw
something down there. It was Apache!! Even now as I write, I'm crying. She's
like a child to me.
My God, six weeks and she's alive! I got so excited, but I couldn't go get
her because of the
oxygen. I hurried and got my neighbor on the phone and she and her children
literally ran down
there with a blanket from the house. I stood with my hose attached outside
on the sidewalk and
waited.
A few minutes later, they came with her. The kids were both jumping around
and carrying on. All
the kids knew Apache. All the neighbors knew Apache. I felt the hand of God
that day as she
gave her back to me. How did this cat survive? She had only some rainwater
to drink and
maybe a mouse. But, she didn't eat mice. She was only a little thin but
okay; she was dirty,
though. After everyone calmed down, I laid down on the bed with her. Even
the dogs wouldn't
leave her alone. She laid down next to me in the crook of my arm and gave me
a wonderful meow
sound.
About an hour later, Mark came home. He walked in with a box that had a vase
in it with these
huge beautiful rust-colored roses in it. He began to walk towards me when
Apache sat up behind
me. I thought he was going to drop everything. He started crying, saying,
"Shes's back, sweet,
she's back, she's back? How did she get back?" He hurried over and picked
her up and gave us
both a big kiss together and held us together. What a day that was. I will
never ever forget this
day. My prayers were answered for sure.
She settled down to her same routine, this time, though, I won't let her out
anymore. I'm too
scared. I almost caused her death by letting her out to play. Now, she's
depressed a little that she
can't go out anymore by herself. Mark takes her out and watches her. She's
all back to normal
now. She's gained weight.
Now, to my daily existence. The doctors were very worried that the clot had
caused some dead
tissue in the lung. I may have had to go to LA for surgery to remove it. I
had a great doctor. My
medical doctor still says, "I thought we were going to lose you." He told me
never to give up and
said that I had so much courage and strength. This is what I fought with. To
have all those things
wrong with me all at one time was the clincher. They decided to wait to do a
lung scan in January.
The one they took before I left the hospital still showed some of the clot
still being there. I used to
gasp for air each time I climbed the stairs. So, in January, I went and -
ready for this? - the
clot was gone completely and there was no tissue damage, only a scar. He
said I was just full of
miracles, he was so pleased.
But, my oxygen numbers were still not staying up. Each time I came off the
oxygen, the numbers
would fall into the 80s. Normal is 98 to l00 percent. So, I still had work
to do. I went back for
another scan a week ago. The doctor took me off the oxygen machine and we
waited about five
minutes or so and then he put the little oxygen measuring machine on my
finger to measure the
amount of intake. It was 97 percent! I was taking in oxygen on my own. He
stood there and
didn't know what to say. He smiled so big and said, "You don't need the
oxygen anymore." My
husband jumped to his feet and started kissing me and hugging me. No more
lifetime oxygen. The
doctor is still being careful; he wants me to use it for sleeping for a
while and only if I feel I need
it during the day. The lung, he said, is 97 percent healed, no permanent
damage, as they thought,
but still a little weak.
Look at all these miracles I've been given. My work is on the horizon. I don
't know yet why these
things happened, maybe to tell people to have ultimate trust in their
Creator, whoever or
whatever they perceive it to be; not to lose hope and to let go and give
yourself up to the higher
power when you have to, and trust and trust.
When I was at the Hopi reservation last year, I met quite a few people there
and also found out
about my mission with them. It has all become clear now. The old ones were
on the other side,
working with me the whole time. I will tell you that story later on. Now, I
need prayers for our
home to sell, so we can get out to Arizona, so I can begin my new life
there.
Life is too short to fight with others, especially when it causes so much
pain and sorrow. To say
I'm sorry to someone is not demeaning, it's God like. We all make mistakes
in this world, no one
is without that. Life can be snuffed out in seconds and we leave behind our
friends and
family. Most of them would say, I never said I was sorry, or I should never
have fought about
something so trivial.
So, make a phone call, hug someone you're mad at, forgive them and ask them
to forgive you
also. We're loving beings and we need to show it to others. Help when you
can give it, but don't
feel guilty if you can't right now. Everyone is a child of the universe,
each unique. Each his own
light, his own shining star in the heavens. We will all be with each other
in the heavens
someday, all of us shining to bring love to this world and others.
Blessings to all
Sentrina