Sililoquy of an Angel
by Michael Sawicki
An article from the February 2009 issue of THE STAR BEACON
Laraine and Mike
Hello,
darlin. I really miss you. I love you so much. I'm sorry that you
had to endure that terrible illness. But I am also so very, very
proud of you. You were so brave and courageous. Some of your
friends said that they didn't even know you were ill. That speaks
volumes about the way you conducted yourself. You were so cool.
You have
inspired me to live in your honor. It was my honor to be with you
as you were passing from this world into the next. As I held your
beautiful hand in those final moments, I felt a sense of peace and
calm like nothing I had ever experienced in my entire life. It
lasted all night long... I didn't sleep a wink. But I'm having
difficulty hanging onto it. It's like it wasn't my peace, it was
yours.
Many
thoughts race through my mind. I was always impressed with your
ability to love so deeply. I can honestly say that I have never
known anyone as beautiful as you. Your charm, your poise, your
spirit, your style. It was completely authentic and natural. What
is it about God, anyway? Why does he make so many types of people?
Wouldn't it be easier to make them all like you? Maybe that's the
point. It's really, really hard to make someone like you,
challenging work even for God! I'll ask him to forgive my lack of
understanding, but I will thank him every day for blessing me with
you.
Random
thoughts possess me. It only hurts when I don't think about
you. Contradictions creep in. I know that we were all made richer
by knowing you, but we are all made poorer by the loss of a loved
one. We seem to cover up the pain of life by simply living, only
to discover that pain when there is a loss. It was easy living for
you, but it's now very hard living for myself. I look in the
mirror and seem strangely alone. Being alone is worse than dying
--
trust me on that one.
Strange thoughts happened at your passing. For the first time in 15 years, I didn't know what to say. For the first time in 15 years, I couldn't fix something. For the first time in 15 years, I had to say good-bye.
I really miss you darlin, I really miss your smiling face. And I miss your sense of humor. As you checked into the hospital for the last time, the nurse asked you if you were allergic to any drugs, and you said, "I guess not; I've tried them all!"
Now, where do we go from here, those of us left behind? What do we do? I guess I've answered that question already. We go back to simply living. We go back to loving one another. But, can we go back with a new inspiration, born from the experience of knowing you? Can we go back with a greater purpose in life as we anticipate the eventualities that we will face? Will we discover greater courage and bravery as we remember the example that you placed before us? I say yes to all those questions because I believe there is no purpose in friendship except to deepen the spirit. So just remember, darlin, that good-byes are only for the flesh. Your spirit is with me always.
(And also from Mike...)
And
now I would like to recite a sonnet. This little poem brought Laraine and me together, and now it is inextricably linked to our
separation in this world. Some may find it difficult to accept
fantastic circumstances. Nevertheless, this poem was delivered to
me by Laraine's newly departed daughter one year before I met
Laraine. I had no idea of the incredible journey, the remarkable
spiritual adventure that I would partake in as unseen forces were
working behind the scenes. Sixteen years ago this poem was
Rosemary's message. Today I rededicate this little poem as a
message from Laraine!
A MESSAGE FROM LARAINE
I feel a gift of passion
I have a gift of love
It doesn't live within me
It comes from up above
When I shall pass from this old earth
It seeks a new soul at its birth
Creating love and passion new
Directly toward someone like you
So if you feel this mystery
It's up to you to follow me
Through misty fields of promised love
It comes through you from up above
And what reward will you have then?
The knowing that it's here again!
And now this
concludes the memorial service which was a celebration of the life
of Laraine Veronica Ferrara.
BACK TO BEST OF THE BEACON
GO TO EARTH STAR'S HOME PAGE
This page updated March 23, 2014
What's New!
Greetings, Terrans! See the latest articles. Check out
the current issue...
CLICK HERE to receive FREE monthly newsletter
BARGAIN
BILLBOARD
FREE
on line classifieds!
Earth Star Books
Browse our Book Catalog to view all our books and publications.
We also sell Cosmic business cards!
SIGN UP for Star Beacon monthly
updates!
Click to join starbeacon
Publishing Professional
Earth Star offers editing and production services for self-publishing authors, plus a lot more. You may inquire by contacting us at starbeacon@gmail.com
See all we offer in the way of publishing services. Check it out...
Psychic Readers Page
Our free directory lists intuitives ready to assist you... View Psychics Page...