“Some people
never know just what love is... And
others never know just what they’ve missed…”
Such is the beginning of an old friend’s song, a friend who made his
transition almost two years ago. The words to the song have stuck with me for
more than a decade, since I first heard the song, The Meaning of It All, by
Richard Gregory. In my search for the meaning of it all, I keep bumping into… surprise!…
judgmental people. We are surrounded by them all our lives. Lately I’ve come
to realize not just how judgmental they are, but how judgmental I have been.
As Light workers we are taught to let go of judgment. Once we take the
judgment off a situation, we can more easily see a solution to the problem. A
universal law tells us not to judge lest we be judged. This commandment is
right out of the Bible, and yet there are many religious folks who ignore
this. And not just religious folks. New Agers, too, tend to judge others.
Why must we who profess to be on the spiritual path look down on those we deem
are not? And how do we really know someone is not on the spiritual path?
Really, how do we know for sure someone’s mind is open or closed? We assume
it… based on what our belief system is. And assumptions are often incorrect.
We place judgment on everything and everyone around us. We can’t help it,
because this is the way we were programmed from Day One. Our parents, our
siblings, our teachers and peers all taught us what was right or wrong,
acceptable and unacceptable, and we learned early in life that in order to get
what we want in life we must do what others say or expect of us.
Perhaps we are most judgmental toward ourselves. We constantly pick on
ourselves based on the image we’ve created in our mind about who we should be,
how we should act, according to the belief system we’ve bought into.
By placing expectations on ourselves, and those around us whom we care about,
we are being judgmental. Unhappiness results from judging others as well as
ourselves and not recognizing the Divine Spark of perfection in ourselves and
others.
You can be discerning without being judgmental about something. Discernment is
the ability to differentiate, to sift out one thing from another, to be
discriminating as opposed to basing a judgment on an immediate reaction or
prejudice. Discerning is deciding which is best in a situation where there are
conflicting factors. This comes more from the heart rather than the head. An
example might be discerning a useful, proactive spirit message that rings true
rather than a misleading piece of disinformation that is fear-based and
doesn’t “feel” right to you.
Another example might be tuning into a radio station that plays music that is
in harmony with your spirit. In my case, I prefer higher consciousness music
(New Age, classical, even mellow jazz) over rap music or heavy metal, which
seems discordant to my thoughts most of the time. However, that kind of music
might suit someone else. Who am I to judge?
Even though it is aggravating to be around judgmental people who want to
criticize, I am learning not to take it personally. One of the best books I
have come across is Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements. If you can get hold
of a copy, by all means read it. It is short and to the point and has left a
deep impression on my life.
Basically the four agreements state:
1) Be impeccable with your word
2) Do not take anything personally
3) Do not make assumptions
4) Always do your best.
Ruiz goes into each
agreement in detail, and it all makes so much sense. If more people would
stick to these four agreements, imagine what life could be like. But even if
you alone accept these four agreements in your life, it will take you right
out of your living hell and place you in Heaven.
You won’t worry about others’ judgments, because you won’t take anything
anybody says or does personally. And if you don’t make any assumptions (this
one is probably the hardest!), how can you be judgmental?
“Some people never know the fascination...
Of knowing life and love are just illusion...
But as for
myself, I know someday I’ll find
The meaning of it all...
The meaning of it all.”
By golly, I think Richard was onto something!
Ann Ulrich Miller is publisher of The Star
Beacon.
