Conversations with Chief Joseph and John Cali
by John Cali
© 2010 (all rights reserved)
An article from the NOVEMBER 2010 issue of THE STAR BEACON.
FORGIVENESS
Do you find it hard to forgive someone who perhaps has hurt you? Or maybe you find it hard to forgive even yourself for past misdeeds.
John Cali
I have a lifelong friend I grew up with. Though we've drifted apart
over the years, we're still in touch occasionally. Sue (not her real name) never
got along well with her mother.
After Sue married, the estrangement grew deeper and more bitter.
Eventually her mother became very ill, but lingered on a few years. Sue refused
to ever visit or call her. Then her mother died. Sue did not go to the funeral
and, to all appearances, had erased her mother's memory from her mind.
But had she really? I cannot imagine myself going through that
experience. How would I feel, now that there was no chance of reconciliation? At
least in this lifetime. How would you feel?
Here's Chief Joseph.
Chief Joseph
We are going to say something right here at the
start which may surprise or even shock some of you:
There is never a need or reason to forgive another person. That's not
your job.
True forgiveness, friends, is forgetting -- forgetting the pain, the
anger, the sadness -- and remembering the love.
Forgiveness is really about letting go. Letting go, and forgetting,
the pain you're holding onto. And whatever that pain is, you -- not the other
person -- created it. The pain is self-inflicted. Always, no exceptions.
Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person. It has everything
to do with you, and only you.
Do you think God holds grudges? Do you think your higher self holds
resentments?
When you are willing to go through that process you call forgiveness,
you are remembering who you are, who your higher self is -- God.
If you insist on forgiving, then forgive yourself. Whatever real or
imagined harm the other person did, did not hurt you. Only your thoughts allowed
you to be hurt.
No one can hurt you without your consent. The other person, acting in
the best way she or he could in the moment, was there in that moment because the
two of you co-created that experience.
No one is to "blame."
If you see such situations from your higher self's perspective, your
pain will go away. All that will remain is the love.
Pain is illusion. Love is real.
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This page updated February 4, 2011
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