I have a friend who told me that, first thing in the morning, she throws back the covers and says out loud, "I wake up every morning just to see what the hell is going to happen next."
      Perhaps not too inspirational, but at least it's something. I now wake up every morning and thank God I'm alive. Being 58 may not seem that old (unless you're one of my kids) but it's an age when you realize you are no spring chicken and anything could happen... at any time... as evidenced by my early summer attack of volvulitis.
      I am grateful to be alive, and more than that I am grateful to still have the "Bizzy Bee" energy I've carried through the years, and the enthusiasm for doing things -- being creative and finding time in my day to express myself in whatever way makes me feel happy.
      Thanksgiving will be here soon. This year I have something special to be thankful for... my special friend Doug, who has played a big part in my healing this past year.
      When I came to Pagosa Springs in May 2009, I felt drawn here without knowing why. Then I heard from the locals that people come to Pagosa Springs to resolve their relationship issues. Some of them leave right away because they don't want to face the reality, but if they haven't resolved their problems, Pagosa Springs will call them back.
      Hearing that made me shudder. But since I wasn't in a relationship at the time, I didn't pay much attention to it.
      Six months later I met Doug. Boom! Suddenly I was in a relationship again... and what an intense, exciting, and... (I confess, at times challenging...) relationship it has been. It has truly been a healing process, for me at least.
      I've had to let go of my past and learn that my happiness does not depend on someone else being in my life. I am so grateful to Doug for what he has taught me, and as we face our second year starting in December, I feel confident and secure in my spirit, knowing that most of the wounds of the past are healed at last.
      Thanksgiving has always been a highlight of my year. At -- in my opinion -- the gloomiest time of the year we gather together in families, or with dear friends, and we celebrate with food in a symbolic gesture to express gratitude. I have always enjoyed preparing the traditional turkey dinner, and this year I look forward to having special people in my home on the 25th -- Doug's children.
      Isn't it interesting that even in times of difficulty, with so many people in the world bearing the crunch of our economy, we can still find joy in the holidays? I have found balance in my life after I came to the conclusion that it does absolutely no good to worry. I used to fret over money, and wonder how my next month's expenses would be met. How easy it is for insecurity to creep in and ruin the day.
      Learning to trust in the abundance within us is the key. Being grateful for what we have, knowing we are taken care of... somehow... is a great comfort. Since we are creating our lives every moment of every day, there can be no room for worrisome, fearful thoughts that only bring to us that which we focus upon.
      This has been my greatest lesson this year, trusting, knowing that "Guided Means Provided."
      It has taken me months to find balance in an imperfect world. I kept looking for things outside of myself to cling to. My anxiety and depression increased. Finally, I discovered "self-talk" and began focusing my intentions. I have several mantras I repeat to myself throughout the day, one of which is "I gratefully embrace the abundance in my life, of love, of money, of good health and fulfillment, for my contributions to the world and everyone in it."
      Self-talk is a good way to ensure that your thoughts do not stray. "I am loved" is a simple one. "I am balanced, I am content, I am in my power!" is an important one. Using the words I AM in your mantras is especially powerful because of God, the "I AM." And if you have a dream to manifest, it will come to you quicker if you state your dream out loud to the Universe, using the words "I am living..." followed by whatever it is you desire. Stating it as if you already have it is vital. It is working in my own life.
      No matter what is happening to the rest of the world, if our focus is on making ourselves happy and at peace, we are doing so much more for humankind than remaining in fear or complaining about the government, or fretting about this and that. Do your part for Planet Earth -- focus on Love and Light -- and find your own balance in a world that is trying so hard to heal herself.
      I am so grateful for all of you reading this right now. The Star Beacon has been a gift in my life for almost 25 years now, and some of you have been with me since the very start. We are living in a most exciting time and we've been in the game too long now to give it up. Hang in there!

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